looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
