the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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