Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
