I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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