he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You ate ashes out of my bong
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
