In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize