Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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