I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
