that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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