So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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