His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
