It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
