Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I want to be your penis for a week.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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