Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
