He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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