Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
