i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
