so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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