Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
