wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Semen is not good for contacts.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
