I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
