Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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