So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
