also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
false alarm, still single
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