I have demons in me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
