I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Someone signed my nipple.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
