Tell her she can't have a vagina
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I CAN MOONWALK!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
