He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
