she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
wow bdsm is so cute
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
