we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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