I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
