Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
