i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
