He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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