Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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