"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
