how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
