these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
