ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it's great music for shaving your balls
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
