she sounds like chewbacca in bed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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