you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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