i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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