Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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