First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So apparently I’m into choking now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
