I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
