he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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