you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
