whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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