just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
