At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just want nice things and good sex
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
