There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
