I wish you could order shots online.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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