I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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