I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Buhtt sex?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize