come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
