so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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