somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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