he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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