omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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