Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
