he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
