Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
