JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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