can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
