I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
