Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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