I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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