Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I am one with the molecules
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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