Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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