Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
