I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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