is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
